Ever since I was a kid, I'm just not good at motoric skills or anything involving body power and agility, things like that. So I was kind of used to become an odd one out in any physical games, which means, whatever I do, especially when I did badly in the game, everyone will ignore the mistake and look after me. Being one year younger than my class peers also kind of encouraging that behavior. I just accept it as it is.
When I took a PE test in middle school, we had to do a tiger sprong. And so I did. My teacher told me I have a perfect posture and movement, but I do it very very slow. In any kind of group games, like basketball, I always avoided the crowd and just chilling on the side. But in shooting the ball, that was my favorite, as long as no one will take the ball, then I will be fine and able to shoot it perfectly.
I also don't know anyone in my family who has any extraordinary skill in sport or something, so I thought that must be genetic. And that's how I easily give up in any physical game and just 'accept' it is as it is. Sports were always identical with fast, agile, aggressive, and for me who is not all that, I thought sports was not for me. Naturally, I become more distant from sports or exercise. I thought 'well, that's just not for me'
And I think that kind of behavior and attitude was influencing me in other areas as well. I easily accepted bad habits because I thought I was just accepting myself. Or in some areas like entrepreneurship, for example, I will just refuse to do anything with it because I just can't cut it, and that's it.
That's when I started to realize, I fixed myself on one form. I didn't enable myself to change my form and grow in a different direction than what I thought I want. And sometimes the things that I 'want' were not really what I want but just what's 'easy' for me.
The more I realize this and reflect on my daily behavior, the more I needed to make a change for myself. And it all goes back to sports and exercise. I thought if I change my attitude towards exercise, and try to do something with it, naturally, I will fix my mindset and it will help to spread to other areas in my life as well.
Then I started to exercise, it was hard at first because of all this 'mindset' that I'm just weak somehow influencing me to just do easy and 'forgive' myself for not doing my best on it. But I was determined to try my best in it, and just try to focus on my performance to see how I able to level up. To keep my motivation, I keep my expectations low but I try my best-est and tried not to easily 'forgive' myself. After I have the motivation, I started to praise myself in between the exercise and to really be conscious about how I feel and how I actually improve my performance.
It is somehow amazing how exercise is not only about physical health but also about the mental, mindset. When we enable ourselves to re-form and not just accept things as it is, great things happen. It is not like suddenly I'm very sporty and muscle mania or something, but the small improvements and moments in it are just helping me in general. Especially in this (again) corona situation, where we all feel stuck with a lot of things (mobility, financial, human relationship, etc), having small moments of winning and improving in a thing that you can control feels really good.
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