There is this radio that I listen to almost every night lately. One day, the DJ was asked by one of the listener,
'How can you hold your anger?'
Then he said that if there is a situation that could make him angry, he has a three seconds rule, to not say anything for three seconds and actually think about what he will say. In those three seconds, many thoughts will pass by, and eventually, we could think that maybe showing anger is not the right reaction at that time.
The DJ is someone who I've noticed shows patience and the ability to keep professional despite any situation. This might sounds easy, but as a person who works to get to know a lot of different people from different backgrounds, I can say it's quite difficult, although doable.
Many times when I face difficult people, I could also hold in my emotion, and proceed with the conversation without the high emotion. I don't think I've ever shown real anger to people because whether I realize it or not I also applied the three seconds rule (maybe less), and most of the times I thought that it would be useless and a waste of energy, and just not the best solution in that situation.
But of course, I'm no saint. Not showing anger or bad emotion towards the person is still doable, but what I realize is that the effect of that 'anger' or 'negative feeling' that remained is what tortures me the most. Especially when I can't resolve it with the person after the bad situation. If it is possible, I usually will talk with the person about the problems and we can both understand each other's side. But there are a lot of cases and circumstances where we can't have resolution time because of the circumstances or the level of relationship.
For some intense situation, sometimes the bad feeling remained in me and I got reminded of it from time to time. Then I will try to brush it off with the same pattern 'maybe they just had a bad day, maybe they're just like that and that's none of my business, just let karma works its way'. Those feelings may be gone forever or maybe it will appear again, someday. So I don't really know now if doing those thinking is useful for the long term, especially in some cases when you can't resolve it with the people because of the circumstances.
I don't know, humans are a difficult creature. If we are earthworm that eats soil and breathes through our skin, maybe things could be simpler. Actually, I don't know, I never lived as an earthworm.
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